I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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