if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
