you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i out mim tonsoeep
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
