You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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