Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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