I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
