You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize