I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
