Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
