I can't breathe out the right side of my face
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize