Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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