She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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