Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize