just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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