you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
