Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
