To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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