He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize