did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
