How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
