dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
porn star boner night. come get it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity