I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?