The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
