Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
