I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
