Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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