At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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