I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
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it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
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I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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