hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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