I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
