i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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