Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
