How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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