True but thats because hes a fetus.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
