Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
