what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
