I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
