Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
two words...techno handjob
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
