it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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