i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
