Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
