i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
