Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize