I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize