What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
