The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
