i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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