you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
