I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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