woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
