i think my tv is drunk
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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