Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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