I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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