I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
