You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
