oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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