Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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