i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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