I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
