Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
