i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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