no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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