Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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