I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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