Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
