my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Please don't give away my fajitas
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
