I cockslap morals
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
