You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
